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He's turned on by my past sexual experiences? I have been with my fiance for 4 years now and we hope to get married, we're just waiting for him to secure his future by getting into medical school. I am the one who initiated the relationship with him, he had no interest in me but I convinced him to give me a chance and he eventually fell in love with me.
We had amazing sex in the beginning, for the first year we had sex almost 2 times a day (sometimes more often). He used to be into me, asking me to dress up in nice lingerie and high heels. Before we met he was addicted to porn, especially watching shemales with girls. he used to watch porn religiously, about an hour a day, spending all his money on it and hiding it from me. Eventually he dropped that habit and found his sexual satisfaction through me.
Over time, he began to ask me about my previous sexual experiences (I had sex twice before with 2 different guys). He wanted all the details, where we were, what I was wearing, the positions we used, and even the noises we made. I was honest and told him every detail. Then things changed, he began getting turned on by my past and asked me to describe the same stories to him over and over again while he had sex with me, pretending to be those guys. Sometimes he would regret it and get really angry with me, almost leaving me claiming I was a whore for what I did. The majority of the time, however, he loved the stories. Over time, he began telling me that he would have loved to be there, and would love to watch and participate (by helping the guy get his dick up and cleaning up for both of us at the end....I'm totally cool with him being bisexual because I am bisexual as well).
So anyways, this is the weirdest thing ever to me because he will never stop talking about my past. He gets angry that I am not a virgin but at the same time he loves what I did before I met him, and when he gets angry he tells me that I have no right to remind him that it turns him on. I am so confused, I am sick of talking about my past because I just regret it and I do not want to think about those other guys. I love my fiance and want to only be with him, I don't mind talking about any other fantasies except reliving my past, especially in the bedroom.
He has even asked me to contact those guys and have sex with them again so he can watch and perhaps participate as well. I never did contact them until this past summer when one of them found me and contacted me. My fiance forced me to have sex with him (but he himself was unable to be there) and then later on turned against me saying he didn't think I would do it. Now he is telling me he no longer loves me and perhaps will never marry me for what I did. At the same time, he calls me every night asking me to describe the sex we recently had and masturbates to that story.
I AM SO CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED, AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZYYYY.
Is there anyone who can relate to this story or has advice? I'm sure you can't relate to the entire thing, but being turned on by your loved one's past sexual experiences? I want to stop talking about it with him and explore new fantasies and also get him to be more turned on by me alone and not me with other people. | I can't relate but I think you need to get this dude some major help or get out of this relationship. He is what *I* consider a true sex addict. I mean he went from been so deeply invested in the porn world and then turned all that porn energy onto you. I know I don't know this guy personally but he definitely sounds like a true sex addict and probably someone that has a love hate relationship with women. Because though most guys want to know about their lady's past, they don't want all the details and use her experiences against her in this way. Nor would they have this deceptive tug of war of love/hate going on. So unless you can get this guy to a therapist and pronto, you should totally call off the engagement. Because he is likely to hurt you and himself if he isn't careful with his thoughts and obessesions.
P.S. Regardless if a guy/fiance or not suggest to you to have sex with an ex guy from your past. Never, ever do it. I mean you said you don't care about those guys yet, you still had sex with one that contacted you. That is never good for a relationship ever. Because essentially you cheated in a way and you also proved that if put under pressure a guy could get you to do anything. Sometimes you have to listen to your own values and standards more so than what a crazy fiance wants. |
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